I’m sat here racking my brains to come up with a reason why I deserve a present this year. I’ve done some terrible things and it suddenly occured to me that you might decide to buy me a tea towel (or something equally hideous) as punishment. I read somewhere once that Santa still considers dropping by if you get in quick and say sorry – so here we go…
I’m sorry that I…
- Demand absolute silence during Downton Abbey & the Young Apprentice (as the BBC has no breaks and I can’t concentrate for extended periods)
- (Occassionally) fake the odd headache to get to bed early / avoid dealing with Dexter when he’s stroppy
- Always steal the last Muller Fruit Corner when your back’s turned
- Smirk when Manchester United lose at football
- Made you buy an exercise bike and haven’t used it once
- (Often) use your last razor blade to shave my legs
- Sneak the heating on full when you’ve expressly told me not to
- (Often) made myself ‘busy’ after dinner to get out of the washing up
- Pretended for months the vacuum cleaner didn’t cater for left-handed people to get out of the hoovering
And that’s just crimes against you!
As you know, I’ve also accidentally stolen some Soya tablets and a bottle of Cilit Bang from Tescos as my coat was positioned so that I couldn’t see it in the trolley. Then there’s the bottle brush from MAM we accidentally pinched from the BabyShow as we both thought the other one had paid for it! I noticed both these crimes before we left the car park’s and didn’t go back to re-correct my mistakes.
So really, all things considered, you could say I don’t deserve a present. You could even shop me to the police!
But if can look past all the above – and can stand the thought of sharing your bed with Reading’s version of Bonnie for another year…
I’d reeeeaaaaallllyyyy like one of these…
As you’re not the sharpest when it comes to computers, you need to click on the image. This will take you through to the Dinky Fingerprint Company – or you can just click here.
Now I know you like to have researched every purchase you make. You’ll be pleased to know, I’ve done the hard work for you on this one. I’ve checked out rival company’s and this is the one I want. I’m thinking muted browns, ambers or greens rather than Barbie Pink.
Thank you my darling… til next year…