Tag Archives: Money

Who is the Boss in your house?

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This weekend I skulked around Dexter’s nursery watching my Craig settle Dexter to sleep. I wasn’t spying I was having a ‘mummy moment’ and watching my boys having a cuddle. Dexter was fighting sleep and crying and Craig was soothing him. In response to Dexter’s whinging, Craig joked:

Come on mate. You’re not the boss of this house. There’s only one boss here and that’s mummy. She’s makes all the decisions, then it’s daddy’s job to pay for them

I grimaced. I know Craig was joking as he’s so rarely serious. He’s unoffical king of the one-liners and it’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him. But this one made me stop and think. I snuck away and mulled it over. It made me contemplate my role in our household

I really don’t see myself as bossy. I’m independent, strong-minded and occasionally sharp-tongued, but I’m mostly fair. I don’t make most of the decisions either. The truth is both of us are dire at making decisions. If we have to pick a restaurant, excursion or holiday, we both spend more time deciding than enjoying the actual treat. He surely wasn’t referring to this.

But then I glanced over to Dexter’s toy box and it struck me. Most of the the toys in that box, were chosen by me. The ELC sit-me-up cosy I was so insistent upon, but is rarely used; the Lamaze Spin and Explore that I was so convinced Dexter would enjoy. To the side of the sofa is Dexter’s Christmas box – it’s full to the brim with little bargains I’ve spotted online.

Then there’s his nursery. I chose and bought all the bedding and decorations without even consulting Craig. Even the canvasses on the wall. I bought them, chose the pictures, and hung them when Craig was at work to surprise him. In fact, I seem to have had a hand in every design / purchase decision in this house.

I’m not saying I buy everything – Far from it! Craig manages our household bills and keeps a roof over our head. He’s the only one with an Amazon account (which is probably a good thing) and I’m constantly sending him links of things to buy. He’s also forever running out in the van to collect something I’ve purchased locally from eBaby. If it’s a ‘big’purchase (furniture etc), we always sit down and talk about it – but the final choice is usually mine.

I will admit to being a ‘marketer’s dream’. I’m known to read magazines and put post it’s on pages with sites to check out, things to buy, and inspiration. Similarly, If I see anything innovative that appears to solve a parenting problem, I have to have it. Having said that I usually pay for these things myself so Craig doesn’t know a thing about it until it’s in the cupboard / toybox. I’m not a spendaholic though as I’m also quite disciplined. I have a ‘wish list’ of things I’m coveting but can’t afford. I know one day I’ll get them. It’s just a case of prioritising and waiting for the January sales. To be honest – with all the fantastic discount codes around, I can’t remember the last time I paid the full price for anything!

So I guess you could say, I am a boss of sorts. Far from being sad about this realisation. I’m actually quite comforted by it. Craig’s little quip is actually quite ‘telling’. He sees me as homemaker and avid parent ‘researcher’. He trusts my decisions and is happy to make the expensive ones happen financially. I’d go so far as to say that Craig enjoys providing us with things when budget allows. He is also a nurturing and loving daddy. If I’ve suggested a toy that claims to “promote motor skills and hand / eye coordination”, he won’t question it, we’ll buy it and both get on our hands and knees on the floor to help Dexter get the most out if it.

I don’t often think too deeply about my role in the home. I tend to just get on with it. Craig’s role is much more defined and structured – he’s the glue that keeps us all together. If he likes to see me as the boss, I don’t feel that’s a bad thing. All in all – we are quite the team.

Handmade goodness

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My dream nursery - I love pretty much everything about this room especially the colours and the purposeful mess

We’re officially “nesting” at the moment in the Mill’s household. I’m really keen to have the nursery ready early so I can wander in every night from work and daydream about the day baby comes home. I’ve seen some gorgeous nurseries online and I want ours to be just as special. The idea is to have the ‘bones’ in place (furniture) by next month, then we’ll just add little bits to it over time. By the time our tiny one is in, it’ll be the most gorgeous room in the house; stuffed with little trinkets and features.

So where are we right now?

We have a Moses basket and a baby bouncer, a cot tidy, a mobile, and have made a start on the stuffed toy collection – hardly the impressive start I wanted! I’m a massive vintage fan and love hings with a past. This extends to pre-loved things that other babies have enjoyed. I plan on sourcing unique and pretty bits from eBay, Gumtree, independent baby shops, craft fairs and boot sales…  I’m hoping to find the odd thing I know no one else will have and we’ll keep for future babies to come (that’s right Craig – I’m thinking 3). What I can’t find, I’m likely to make (or buy homemade)  – and I’m loving all the tiny knitted booties and mittens on eBay. I really love the thought that someone makes them as a barely profitable mini business as they sell for £1.99 +p&p – they must  just love being thrifty and making things! Every item is unique with miniature ribbons and bows.

 
 
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Baby booties on eBay - these are so cute and intricate!

I’d ideally like for the dresser drawers to already be filled with blankets, socks, baby grows, bibs etc, when baby comes home. Anything else we receive as gifts will be bonuses. I’m less fussy about these. We’ll probably know whether we’re having a boy or a girl in a few months but most early clothing is gender neutral so this collection can start right away. I don’t see the point in spending a great deal of money on this. Baby will have some expensive one-off outfits for special occasions, but otherwise they’ll be perfectly happy in hand-me-downs and bargains sourced in high street sales. Babies don’t stay tiny enough to make use of one outfit for more than a few months, and they can be messy too. I’d be heartbroken if I spent hundreds of pennies on things that get ruined in 5 minutes; baby won’t be aware if his / her baby grow costs £20 or £2,50.
Facebook - Mummies Club
Facebook – Mummies Club

 

Speaking of money I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a Mummies Club. The idea is to connect with other new mummies in the area and donate old outgrown items to those mothers with children younger than your own. I have two ideas at the moment; a ‘bring and buy’ bi-monthly event, or a strange twist on secret santa. Obviously option 2 would be far more exciting but it would be a logistical nightmare! I floated both ideas on Facebook last week and people seemed to think it was a good idea. I may well run with this later on in the pregnancy. We’re in recession and every penny counts at the moment, for everyone, not just us. It would be so nice to help  each other out and make money at the same time. I’d love to hear peoples thoughts xx