Tag Archives: Recommendation

Your Dramatic Entrance!


Here follows a mini timeline of your birth:

12:30pm (15th May 2012)

Mummy arrived at Reading town centre as she had a photo shoot at work at 2pm. Mummy was in a bit of a strop as she didn’t feel like having her picture taken and thought she looked hideous. The plan was to get her hair cut before the shoot so she got into town early. On the way to the hairdressers she popped into to see her best mate Paul Smith at his work (Goldsmiths Jewelers) with a belated birthday pressie.


Mummy got her hair cut at SuperCuts (a ‘cheap’ hairdressers in the Oracle – the only place that would see her at such short notice). The hairdresser was a very camp Thai guy so mummy was chatting and beginning to relax into the day.


The photo shoot! Mummy was having pictures taken for the re-launch of her work website. She wasn’t overly impressed with the photo but hey, she was 8.5 months pregnant and tired. She over stayed her welcome afterwards for some cuddles and a good old gossip with the girls (Charley, Charlotte, Nic, Nikki and Laura).


Daddy picked up mummy and they went food shopping at Tesco’s. You’ll soon find out that shopping with Daddy is a royal pain in the butt; he likes to ‘browse’ the aisles and spends AGES comparing the prices of everything. Mummy was beginning to feel you wriggle about and thought she felt the first twinges of you getting ready for birth. She was so excited she posted about this on Facebook.

7.00pm – 10.00pm

You were wriggling away and mummy was feeling a little uncomfortable whilst she was watching the telly.


Mummy went to bed – she wanted to lay straight as she had a few mini cramps. She wouldn’t feel you again for a few hours.

12.00am (16th May 2012)

Daddy had come to bed around 11pm and wanted to get his head down for work the next day. Mummy wasn’t tired and her mind was racing with thoughts of you so she went to watch a film in the living room (Four Brothers).


Mummy felt some water between her legs and thought her waters had broken. She felt down between her legs and felt she was soaked right through. When she lifted her hand up she saw it was bright red with blood. Mummy panicked BIG TIME and shouted to Daddy to help her. She was running throughout the flat and shaking as she thought it was bad and you might be in trouble. Daddy and mummy rang the hospital and they called an ambulance.


The ambulance came and took mummy to the maternity ward at the Royal Berkshire Hospital. Daddy followed behind in the van. The ambulance men were very nice and told mummy not to panic.


Mummy was taken on a hospital trolley to the maternity ward. They strapped her straight into a machine so she (and they) could hear your heartbeat through her tummy – mummy cried because she was so relieved you were okay. The nurses then felt her tummy and tried to work out whereabouts you were inside of her. There had been some problems with your positioning throughout the pregnancy; at 36 weeks you were upside down with your tiny feet pointing downwards. In order to give birth safely you had to be the other way around so the doctors had massaged mummy’s tummy to get you the right way up. The nurses wanted to make sure you hadn’t been cheeky and pushed yourself back into the ‘naughty’ position or she’d have to have a Caesarean section (where they cut you out of mummy’s tummy – Daddy calls this “coming out through the sunroof”). A scan determined you were still head down (Yayyy!) so they thought you would be okay.


After a consultation with the doctor,  they thought you were doing well but were still worried about mummy’s bleeding. They took her to another room to strap her up to a monitor which would continuously track your heartbeat and mummy’s. Both mummy and daddy were very tired so tried to get some sleep. At this stage both mummy and daddy suspected the nurses would send us all home as mummy’s bleeding was much better.


Mummy needed a wee so got up to use the toilet. When she did, there was lots more blood and mummy began to cry. The doctors were called in and a decision was made to deliver you straight away. This meant mummy had to have a Caesarean section after all. The next few hours were chaotic as mummy had to sign lots of forms to consent to the operation. Mummy was scared but also secretly happy as she was scared to go home.


Mummy and daddy went to the operating room. Daddy had to wear scrubs so looked like a doctor. Mummy had to wear a special gown and had to be numbed from the chest down so the doctors could get you safely out without mummy feeling anything. Mummy’s memory is pretty hazy from here as she was very scared and anxious. Needless to say – the operation began. One day, when you are older, daddy will talk you through it as mummy has largely blocked it out.


YOU WERE BORN… 38 weeks – 5lbs 14 (16th May 2012 @5.51am)


The legend himself – our tiny miracle xx


What we know already about Baby Mills (apparently)


I’m sure you’ve already worked out how excited we are to be extending our family. Craig and I talk daily about our hopes for Baby Mills and what kind of parents we want to be. Obviously, right now we don’t know much about him or her, other than the fact they’re absolutely wanted and they’ll have a loving home, but the internet tells us differently; in all its infinite wisdom it offers us the ability to see into the future. As an excited mummy-to-be,  I spend hours trawling baby and parenting websites for competitions, blog content, cute toys, and advice – it’s therefore inevitable I’ve stumbled across some of this website weirdness…


Baby Shrek

Baby Shrek

What a joke this is! The idea is to upload a picture of yourself, and your partner, to get a 3D likeness of what baby will look like. I almost cried when I saw this creature. If it wasn’t for Craig wetting himself with laughter I would have worried the whole way though my pregnancy! Don’t get me wrong, as long as baby is happy and healthy we’ll love him or her unconditionally… but I really hope Baby Shrek doesn’t become a reality (for his or her sake aswell as ours). Let’s face it – Baby Shrek looks like something from a bad made-for-tv horror movie. The way he’s bent forward makes it look like he’s clutching a machete in his tiny grip! And then there is the Rooney-esque ginger widow’s peak! I actually repeated the upload twice in case there was a problem the first time. But no, this is genuinely what a Chamberlain / Mills fusion supposedly looks like.

Let’s just say, the option to “Share the news” and post onto Facebook was declined and the website was instantly stricken from my browsing history. He really is the sort of baby you would hide under the blanket in public.


Much better

Baby Blue Eyes

Aww… I do like this one. Shame I can’t believe our little one will look anything like it. Baby Blue Eyes is simply adorable but she’s blonde! I know babies change dramatically during their first few years and eye and hair colour rarely stay as is from birth to childhood, but I can’t see me producing a golden-haired baby. That said, I really hope I do! Baby Blue Eyes has the most beautiful little face; nice and chubby cheeks with huge eyelashes and a perfect button nose. I looked chinese when I was born, with tiny eyes and a bush of black hair. In fact, I would go as far to say that I was an ugly child.  This little angel is the complete opposite. I can’t see too much of either in us in Baby Blue Eyes if I’m honest. I’ll leave this one to my readers to decide…

As an aside, I’d recommend this site if you are partial to such ridiculous pastimes. The photo uploader is much quicker and you have to outline each of your features in detail before the image is produced. This makes it feel as though it’s actually generating something clever rather than downloading something random from the internet.

And moving on…

So now we know what Baby Mills will look like, let’s focus on whether Craig and I have made a boy or a girl. This is understandably a very important question. It will determine baby’s name, the colour we decide to paint the nursery, and whether we buy cute little dresses or trainers in preparation for their arrival. How can we possibly find out before the scan?!

Well this time we can thank the Chinese! Apparently they’ve had this nailed for ages! In fact, the Chinese Gender Prediction Chart was supposedly discovered in a tomb, and is rumoured to be over seven centuries old. The original is said to be on display at the Beijing Institute of Science in China. For me, there is a note of irony here given the 1978 1 child policy – you would have thought they might have foresaw their predicament and taught their gender prediction tool in Chinese high-schools!

So how accurate is it? Reports vary of course, with some reporting greater than 50% accuracy (50%! well worth a look then!) .

So using the incredibly basic little matrix (I would post a picture of this chart but it’s so incredibly pathetic, it’s not worth plugging on here). I can now reveal that we are expecting… a baby boy! Given we have the name for a little boy already sorted, this really takes the pressure off.

So Jake Mills – welcome to your blog!!!!

Right I’m off for a lay down xxx